In my latest book for Book Boon, “Happiness at Work”, we look at how some of the words associated with work can be heavy going and trying to sell the idea of work to a child might be a tall order if we focussed on words such as task, trial and struggle.
In fact, some of the messages we received as a child about work can make a big difference in our perspective on the concept of working. So, for example, you may come from a hard, working-class background where the messages might be that work was a means to an end, a necessary evil to pay bills, something to get through each week for a pay packet, as well as something to get through until retirement. These are the people who seem to have a permanent countdown clock that measures out exactly the day they will be free from the drudgery.
However, even in a similar environment, the beliefs about work may have been about the honesty of a hard day’s graft and the sense of belonging that comes from working with others, and ultimately meant the pride of providing for one’s family. Of course, in some poorer households’ generations have been blighted by unemployment where children have never seen a working parent/adult.
In more middle-class households there may have been more conversations about considering work for a sense of achievement, climbing of the career ladder for status as well as success –where parental messages may or may not have included connecting happiness to one’s work.
Extra opportunities and possibilities in a variety of work may have been assumed in these households. Parents may have worked longer overall and not necessarily viewed retirement as desirable or some sort of end point.
The role of mothers and their approach to work will also have been instrumental in formulating in young minds what it means to go to work. Our parents naturally have been influenced by their own parents who may have wanted different experiences for their own offspring.
Perhaps take some time now to reflect on what beliefs you have about work and where they came from:
- What did your parents/guardians tell you about their work?
- What impressions did you pick up?
- Were you encouraged or coerced to go in a particular direction?
Martin Seligman, a psychologist talks about the propensity for certain occupations to run in families – doctors and lawyers being the obvious ones.
A doctor is a high-status profession but if a parent is a doctor, it normalises a child’s ambitions early on when deciding what subjects to specialise in between ages 14-16. Compare this to a child whose parents work in factories. It’s not impossible for them to become a doctor (if of similar intelligence) but access to opportunities, and confidence that this is something they can aspire to, can be much more problematic.
Later in the book we begin to look at how to understand our own happiness at work and gain some ideas for increasing the likelihood of that happening by focussing on strengths, values and purpose.
Seligman, M. E. P. (2003). Authentic happiness: Using the new positive psychology to realise your potential for lasting fulfilment. Nicholas Brealey
Extract from Chapter 3 Happiness at Work by Julia Menaul
https://bookboon.com/en/happiness-at-work-ebook
Available free for first 30 days.