A Tribute to Diane Hanna, Coach and Supervisor.
Further to the sad news of the death of Diane Hanna I thought it might be fitting to share the case study she wrote for myself and Maggie João, MCC in "Coaching and Supervising Through Bereavement: A Practical Guide to Working with Grief and Loss". The topic seems apposite now, and that Diane was able to share her experiences of a good deal of personal loss and how that informed her coaching. How much her words resonate our own sense of loss at her passing.
Supervisors Case Study: Remaining fit for purpose in supervision.
I was offered the opportunity to act as Coach Supervisor with a group of coaches where loss was one of the central themes of the coaching as coaches and our coachees.
In 2020, the year the Covid-19 pandemic started, the manifestation of multiple losses in my life over the previous few years was a challenge for me. I divorced, was diagnosed with Breast Cancer, remarried & moved, lost my dad and mum within a 7-year period. Somehow, they magnified at the point of losing my mum in April 2020. I now reflect on how well I self-managed, showed self-care and compassion and remained ‘fit for purpose’ as a Coach Supervisor.
What I found helpful, working with a team of coaches looking at loss, was our ability to reflect, be open in a way that showed compassion, humour and an honest, ethical stance.
This meant that I could be myself and show feelings and emotions as they arose in our work in full recognition that sometimes I was triggered but tried to remain helpful.
As an empathic person I find it very easy in the moment to switch of ‘my stuff’ and focus exclusively on the other person/team and feel no interference.
However, what is crucial is to decompress effectively myself. During this time, I did this with my own coach supervisor exploring my thoughts & feelings about grief and how they manifested working as a coach and coach supervisor, we did this using imagery and metaphor.
It was key to allow myself time to just be, do nothing or walk and reflect to allow restoration. I also had some success with self-talk in terms of positive affirmations and saying no to things which I did not feel resourced to do.
What didn’t go so well? I view my voyage of discovery about myself with a light touch & humour and usually allow some introspection but not to be overly reflective.
In this time of grief, I felt overwhelmed more easily by the various demands placed on me by my mum’s death as well as professionally. Of course, with all my training, education and experience I could talk to myself compassionately and take the meta view but some days I just did not feel fit for my purpose as a coach supervisor and found it difficult to forgive myself for not showing up in my best shape.
When I think of what I learned about grief and loss, the words ‘accepting what is’ comes up regularly for me in grief and it seems that once I am at peace with whatever loss I have experienced it enables me to be even better at what I do as a coach supervisor.
Another learning is to give a good amount of time to explore the losses as they happen. In retrospect I have not done that sufficiently. To acknowledge the loss fully, experiencing the light and the dark side of loss.
A friend reminded me that grief is like glitter it shows up when you least expect it; when you thought you had got rid of all the glitter there is still more to hoover up.
It is alright to feel and be preoccupied by grief and I would encourage a fellow professional to self-coach by asking ‘How do I respond helpfully for myself and my clients at this time?’ and ‘What do I need to add into today’s self-care?’
Diane Hanna
Lead Coach and Coach Supervisor
Capel Jones Consulting Ltd